Are There Truly No Winners In Divorce Disputes?

Posted on 3/20/2017 by Robert Relph in Settlement Negotiation
Are There Truly No Winners In Divorce Disputes?

It is often said that divorce disputes produce winners and losers. A possible corollary to this is the idea that both parties are losers in an acrimonious dispute during the divorce process. These statements are more often overblown ideas involving the difficulties encountered by the parties during the process of their divorce.

Set Realistic Expectations in a Divorce Case

First, all marital conflicts do not have the same origins. The divorce process itself is often significantly influenced by the parties’ personalities, attitudes, and events leading up to the separation. It is generally true that the divorce process is not a time to “get even” or get “payback” for perceived offenses during the marriage. The court system, particularly its judges, are not oriented toward reward or punishment for offenses committed when the parties were together. This is where expectations are set between the attorney and client, and the employment of an experienced divorce specialist is critical in keeping the process from becoming one where both parties lose. Setting realistic expectations for resolution of divorce issues between the attorney and the client are an important part of the divorce process. Those parties who have realistic expectations will find a modest amount of success in the process. Unrealistic expectations simply lead to continuing conflict, expense, and disappointment.

Effective Negotiation is Critical to a Successful Outcome

Negotiation, including mediation, are important components of the divorce process. Since judges do not expect to make decisions on all issues, they do expect the parties and their attorneys to negotiate those issues, and to engage in mediation where necessary. In fact, most court systems in Michigan now require mediation before a judge is asked to make any decisions in the case. Effective negotiation and mediation can lead to neither party feeling like a “loser.” However, it does not mean that divorce feels like a winning process, as there is usually no feeling of success in a failed marriage. Reducing the feeling of failure most often occurs when a party has the right attitude about negotiation and a resolution, and has hired a well qualified Grand Rapids divorce lawyer to represent them.